Love By Grace
by tuesday's child
Summary: Future-ish fic. Angel and Cordelia are together, but she gets scared and runs. Short and Complete. Rather fluffy with some angst first. Please R/R


**  
I remember the rain on the roof that morning   
And all the things that I wanted to say   
The angry words that came from nowhere   
without warning   
That stole the moment and sent me away   
And you standing there at the doorway crying   
And me wondering if I'd ever be back   
**  
  
I don't even remember how or when that stupid fight started. I hardly remember what it was originally about. All I remember is me yelling at him and him getting all defensive. Then the packing and the crying. And then leaving. And now here I am. Alone, in my car, driving down the Pacific Coastal Highway, nothing but the road and the rain ahead of me.   
  
i  
Angel watched her from the door, wondering how they had gotten to this.  
  
"What are you doing?" He asked, arms crossed.  
  
"Packing."  
  
"Dammit Cordelia--"  
  
"NO! Angel, I have to leave. Now." She tossed a red halter top into the suitcase, "I'm tired of having you with me halfway."  
  
He strode into their bedroom and snatched several clothes from the suitcase and attemted to put them back, "I don't know what your talking about."  
  
"I'm talking about HER!" Cordelia screamed, taking the clothes back from him and re-packing them, "You're still in love with Buffy and I'm tired of living in her shadows. I'm tired of making love to you knowing you're thinking of BUFFY."  
  
She blinked away tears and snapped the suitcase shut.  
  
"That's bull and you know it." Angel said, not looking at her.  
  
"Is it?"   
  
She choked on a sob and picked up her suitcase. Angel followed her down the stairs to the lobby of the Hyperion, where the rest of the Angel Investigations crew, plus Lorne, were watching with saddened faces.  
  
"Don't do it." Fred whispered, grabbing Cordelia by the arm, "Don't screw yourself over."  
  
Cordelia blinked, shocked yet again by the quiet Texan. She brushed away a tear and hugged her, "Bye, Fred."  
  
She hugged Lorne, Gunn, and Wesley all at once, then kissed Connor's sleeping eyes, leaning over the basinette with tears streaking her face.  
  
She stood in front of Angel and met his sad eyes, "I love you."  
  
Cordelia winced at his pained voice, "I love you, too." She said, and kissed him on the cheek before biting back another sob and fleeing the hotel, into the rain.  
/i  
  
**  
I said I didn't come here to leave you   
I didn't come here to lose   
I didno't come here believing I would ever be   
away form you   
I didn't come here to find out   
There's a weakness in my faith   
I was brought here by the power of love   
Love by grace   
**  
  
What the hell am I doing? I have to go back...I have to...I turn my car around, tires squealing on the wet road. I've been driving for about two hours and in those two tiny hours, I have decided that I want to die because I just left the only man I will ever love. The man who went through horrible pain to anchor his soul so he could make love to ME. Cordelia Chase. Dammit, I'm an idiot. I know better than to accuse him of using me as a Buffy substitute. I KNOW BETTER.  
  
**  
And I remeber the road just went on forever   
Just couldn't seem to turn that car around   
'Till in the distance like a long lost treasure   
A phone booth that just could not be found   
And you standing there at the doorway waiting   
And the moment when we laid back down   
**  
  
I love him and I was going to leave him. Stupid. Stupid. STUPID. As I jump out of my car, leaving the door wide open (WIDE OPEN! Leather INTERIOR), I know that this is going to suck. That's the first thought in my head as I open the door and I almost laugh at myself. Everyone's still there, and they raise questioning eyebrows as I run past and into Angel's office.  
  
He's brooding in the darik and when he sees me his expression darkens.  
  
"Forget something?" He asks coldly and I feel my heart shatter. This is my own fault, and I know it.  
  
"Yeah." I say, "I forgot you. I forgot Connor. I forgot my love for you. I forgot my freakin' sanity."  
  
He looks away, "You don't trust in my love at all, do you?"  
  
"Of course I do."  
  
"Then you never would have accused me of using you as a Buffy replacement."  
  
"I know..."   
  
He's quiet, and it scares the hell out of me. "Angel, say something."  
  
**  
I said I didn't come here to leave you   
I didn't come here to lose   
I didno't come here believing I would ever be   
away form you   
I didn't come here to find out   
There's a weakness in my faith   
I was brought here by the power of love   
Love by grace   
  
That was just a moment in time   
And one we'll never forget   
One we can leave behind   
'Cause when there was doubt   
You'll remember I said   
**  
  
"I love you." He says and his eyes radiate with that heat, that way of seeing into my soul, and I know he means it.   
  
"Oh God, I love you too." I cry, flinging myself into his arms. I'm acting insane but I don't care. "I love you!"  
  
He laughs a little then kisses me. And this is unlike anyhting I've ever experienced. It's more than a kiss, it's a seal on both our fates. It's the way he used to kiss Buffy, only now that privelege is mine.  
  
"No more Buffy?" He murmurs as we oull away only slightly.  
  
"Bufy who?"  
  
**  
I didn't come here believing I would ever be away form you   
I didn't come here to find out   
There's a weakness in my fait   
I was brought here by the power of love   
I was brought here by the power of love   
Love by grace   
** 


End file.
